I have been so super busy at work. Insanely busy. Like I've had to pee for about 3 hours but I can't get away to the bathroom busy. I grabbed some strawberries today and I came this close to not even washing them off before I ate them because it seriously seemed like it would take too long. I don't think I'm mismanaging my time...and I'm delegating things out...so I don't know what's happening. This is probably just justice for all the time I've ever wasted on instant messenger. Curse you instant messenger for fueling the compelling and overwhelming need I have to engage in lighthearted, witty banter! The voice in my head says "Ignore the IM! Ignore the IM!" and yet my fingers are curiously unable to avoid typing out a response...what kind of hold do you have over me? Evil, pure evil!
And I have got to get a handle on working out. I have lost all consistency. And some muscle too. I got a workout in on Monday and Tuesday but we had overnight company last night so no workout this morning. It's amazing but I can tell a difference since I've been slacking. It really sucks.
It's a little ironic that the purpose of this blog was primarily to keep me accountable on workouts and now it seems like I blog about everything except that. I'm going to try to get better about that too. Of course, I talk an awful lot about getting better about things but if I was actually making improvements in those areas I probably wouldn't need to keep promising to get better, would I?
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
This, That, and All Others
Got a few, unimportant things running through my head. None of them are related or even very interesting...so this is even more random and mundane than usual.
I was listening to NPR this morning. I love NPR. When I was young I tried to listen to it because I knew it was important to be connected, to know what was happening in the world but I just couldn't do it. I just didn't have a genuine enough interest to stay focused and really absorb the news. I think I was too immature to see how those things impacted me - it felt like a world completely removed from mine. I was busy working my jobs and going to school and counting down to penny beer night. It's different now and I really enjoy it. So anyway, this morning on the radio they had Senator Claire McCaskill on to talk about the budget situation and she said something that struck me. When asked during the interview why it was so difficult to reach nonpartisan agreements she said (and I didn't commit the exact phrase to memory so I'm slightly paraphrasing) that most people come to Washington to be loved and that essentially that makes it difficult to say no. And I don't know, that seems to me to be the major problem - no one should go to Washington to be loved. They should go to Washington because they want to make the world a better place, to make a difference - it's public service! S-E-R-V-I-C-E. From my experience, there is very little recognition or glory in true service. People that serve do so because they care about the greater cause, not the recognition. The ones that care about the recognition actually seem to do very little. I think that's why I get so irritated with inept leadership - most the times it's really just a case of someone looking for the prestige but not willing to do the work. I hate that attitude.
I've had a series of blonde moments lately. I may not be blonde but my inner self is - she's blonde, leggy, and has a rack that would make Dolly Parton jealous. I'm very, very fond of her. Normally, it's something here and there but for some reason I've had moment after moment - it's beginning to get ridiculous. I was cleaning the house the other day and the girls were playing. They got a little too loud so I went in and absently said "Guys, you're being too loud. Come on, let's go. Don't play in here." and M looked at me kinda strange and said "But this is the playroom..." I mean, really, how do you recover from that? And today I was coming down the stairs when I ran into a colleague. She looked at me, did a double take and then said "Oh hey! I'm not used to you coming down the stairs." To which I replied "I always take the stairs." She looked a little confused and then said "Ooooh, no. I meant since you've moved upstairs. I'm used to seeing you walking down the hall, not walking from the stairs." Yeah, that makes more sense since she probably doesn't have time to monitor whether I use the stairs or the elevator...Yikes. I am making the conscience decision to screw my head on just a tiny bit tighter tomorrow...
I had to let someone go today. It's the first time I've ever terminated anybody. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Not that I'm cold hearted or anything. But really, I provided chance after chance...I bent over backwards to avoid it but there just comes a point when you have to realize that behaviours aren't going to change. And that's an issue. And really, if you can't respect me as your supervisor then it's never going to work. I think part of that is because I try so hard to be flexible and understanding. Unfortunately, some people perceive that as weak. And I don't want to play the gender card but I think it is difficult sometimes for some men to accept a woman in charge. And I can understand that. And I personally don't think it helps that I'm short and look young - I don't think I exactly scream authority. Especially when I have one student who every time, every single time, she sees me she says "Ooooh you look so preciouuuuus. Just so so so precious." Like I'm a freakin cupie doll. I mean, not to sound ungrateful or anything but really? Really? Precious is the only adjective you have to describe me? It doesn't matter if I'm dressed in my nerdy/librarian or wild zebra - precious it is. I don't ever get a hot, or sassy, or even cute. Nope, just tie a cute little pink bow on me because precious it is...
The newest addition to our family arrived this weekend. She was delivered mid-afternoon on Sunday. She weighs quite a bit and looks pretty tall to me. We've decided to affectionately call her "fridge".
And in closing I will share with you my beloved shoe pile. One of the first things I do when I get home is kick off my shoes...unfortunately, they don't always make it upstairs and back into my closet.
According to Benny this is one of the most annoying things I do. I strongly disagree! I do many, many things that are way more annoying than that...
I was listening to NPR this morning. I love NPR. When I was young I tried to listen to it because I knew it was important to be connected, to know what was happening in the world but I just couldn't do it. I just didn't have a genuine enough interest to stay focused and really absorb the news. I think I was too immature to see how those things impacted me - it felt like a world completely removed from mine. I was busy working my jobs and going to school and counting down to penny beer night. It's different now and I really enjoy it. So anyway, this morning on the radio they had Senator Claire McCaskill on to talk about the budget situation and she said something that struck me. When asked during the interview why it was so difficult to reach nonpartisan agreements she said (and I didn't commit the exact phrase to memory so I'm slightly paraphrasing) that most people come to Washington to be loved and that essentially that makes it difficult to say no. And I don't know, that seems to me to be the major problem - no one should go to Washington to be loved. They should go to Washington because they want to make the world a better place, to make a difference - it's public service! S-E-R-V-I-C-E. From my experience, there is very little recognition or glory in true service. People that serve do so because they care about the greater cause, not the recognition. The ones that care about the recognition actually seem to do very little. I think that's why I get so irritated with inept leadership - most the times it's really just a case of someone looking for the prestige but not willing to do the work. I hate that attitude.
I've had a series of blonde moments lately. I may not be blonde but my inner self is - she's blonde, leggy, and has a rack that would make Dolly Parton jealous. I'm very, very fond of her. Normally, it's something here and there but for some reason I've had moment after moment - it's beginning to get ridiculous. I was cleaning the house the other day and the girls were playing. They got a little too loud so I went in and absently said "Guys, you're being too loud. Come on, let's go. Don't play in here." and M looked at me kinda strange and said "But this is the playroom..." I mean, really, how do you recover from that? And today I was coming down the stairs when I ran into a colleague. She looked at me, did a double take and then said "Oh hey! I'm not used to you coming down the stairs." To which I replied "I always take the stairs." She looked a little confused and then said "Ooooh, no. I meant since you've moved upstairs. I'm used to seeing you walking down the hall, not walking from the stairs." Yeah, that makes more sense since she probably doesn't have time to monitor whether I use the stairs or the elevator...Yikes. I am making the conscience decision to screw my head on just a tiny bit tighter tomorrow...
I had to let someone go today. It's the first time I've ever terminated anybody. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Not that I'm cold hearted or anything. But really, I provided chance after chance...I bent over backwards to avoid it but there just comes a point when you have to realize that behaviours aren't going to change. And that's an issue. And really, if you can't respect me as your supervisor then it's never going to work. I think part of that is because I try so hard to be flexible and understanding. Unfortunately, some people perceive that as weak. And I don't want to play the gender card but I think it is difficult sometimes for some men to accept a woman in charge. And I can understand that. And I personally don't think it helps that I'm short and look young - I don't think I exactly scream authority. Especially when I have one student who every time, every single time, she sees me she says "Ooooh you look so preciouuuuus. Just so so so precious." Like I'm a freakin cupie doll. I mean, not to sound ungrateful or anything but really? Really? Precious is the only adjective you have to describe me? It doesn't matter if I'm dressed in my nerdy/librarian or wild zebra - precious it is. I don't ever get a hot, or sassy, or even cute. Nope, just tie a cute little pink bow on me because precious it is...
The newest addition to our family arrived this weekend. She was delivered mid-afternoon on Sunday. She weighs quite a bit and looks pretty tall to me. We've decided to affectionately call her "fridge".
 |
| Only a day old and already dressed up |
And in closing I will share with you my beloved shoe pile. One of the first things I do when I get home is kick off my shoes...unfortunately, they don't always make it upstairs and back into my closet.
According to Benny this is one of the most annoying things I do. I strongly disagree! I do many, many things that are way more annoying than that...
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Freezer Burn
I had an event for work and ended up with some left-over popsicles, which made their way back to my house. Not to worry, they were purchased with my own money - it was just a return on the investment.
This was kinda a big deal in the Mitchell house because I don't buy popsicles. At least it was a big deal for M. So she's been asking for one after dinner. She's smart too because she always waits until after M2 goes to bed. The girl understands supply and demand.
So Sunday I go to get her one and...what? Why aren't they frozen? Hummm, that's interesting. So I was hoping that maybe the freezer had been left open accidentally - not enough for me to notice but enough for the popsicles to melt.
Yeah, it was a stretch.
The next morning I check and nope, still not frozen. This is not good. Since the sole purpose of a freezer is to freeze this could only mean one thing - the fridge has officially died.
We are fortunate - we have an extra fridge outside on our back porch. It isn't as redneck as it sounds. We have it because we're too lazy to go inside to get something to drink when we're outside. Technically, anytime you have an appliance on a porch that qualifies as redneck, but I'm justifying this based on sheer convenience.
And thank goodness for our trailer park ways, we were able to save a lot. It's just crazy to me that it went out so quickly - it was fine one day and completely out the next. And it was only 8 years old. Which I know is old, but shouldn't they last longer than that? The one outside (OUTSIDE!) still works. And it's really old.
And I must be the most unwife wife in the world because I have absolutely no preferences on appliances. My only requirement is that everything has to be the same color. Benny picked the first fridge and picked our replacement too. Not that he didn't ask and keep asking me what I thought ...but seriously, I don't care how many shelves it has or how the drawers work. If it keeps the food cold then I'm good.
So we'll have the memorial services on Sunday - pallbearers courtesy of Lowes. Or Home Depot. I can't remember. We'll say goodbye and send her off and get another 8 years before we have to do it all over again...
This was kinda a big deal in the Mitchell house because I don't buy popsicles. At least it was a big deal for M. So she's been asking for one after dinner. She's smart too because she always waits until after M2 goes to bed. The girl understands supply and demand.
So Sunday I go to get her one and...what? Why aren't they frozen? Hummm, that's interesting. So I was hoping that maybe the freezer had been left open accidentally - not enough for me to notice but enough for the popsicles to melt.
Yeah, it was a stretch.
The next morning I check and nope, still not frozen. This is not good. Since the sole purpose of a freezer is to freeze this could only mean one thing - the fridge has officially died.
We are fortunate - we have an extra fridge outside on our back porch. It isn't as redneck as it sounds. We have it because we're too lazy to go inside to get something to drink when we're outside. Technically, anytime you have an appliance on a porch that qualifies as redneck, but I'm justifying this based on sheer convenience.
And thank goodness for our trailer park ways, we were able to save a lot. It's just crazy to me that it went out so quickly - it was fine one day and completely out the next. And it was only 8 years old. Which I know is old, but shouldn't they last longer than that? The one outside (OUTSIDE!) still works. And it's really old.
And I must be the most unwife wife in the world because I have absolutely no preferences on appliances. My only requirement is that everything has to be the same color. Benny picked the first fridge and picked our replacement too. Not that he didn't ask and keep asking me what I thought ...but seriously, I don't care how many shelves it has or how the drawers work. If it keeps the food cold then I'm good.
So we'll have the memorial services on Sunday - pallbearers courtesy of Lowes. Or Home Depot. I can't remember. We'll say goodbye and send her off and get another 8 years before we have to do it all over again...
Monday, July 25, 2011
Lazy
So I've been bad about working out. Two weeks ago I was kinda spotty and then last week I didn't work out at all. Not once. I don't know what was wrong with me...it seems like I cylce in and out with my motivation...some days I'm hardcore committed and then bam - I can't force myself to get up and do it.
I did work out this morning. I got my lazy behind up and dressed and had the dvd started at 5:08. And I increased my weights just because I felt like I had been a sloth and I wanted to get back into and not mess around. My triceps are a teeny tiny bit sore but other than that I'm good...which just tells me that I should have increased my weight before now.
So once again here I go, back on track. For about the 100th time...but I guess it's better than never getting back on track at all. And really, that's kind of representative of my life - I stumble, fall, get a little banged up but just pick myself up and keep on trekking...I know I'll fall again but what else can I do?
I did work out this morning. I got my lazy behind up and dressed and had the dvd started at 5:08. And I increased my weights just because I felt like I had been a sloth and I wanted to get back into and not mess around. My triceps are a teeny tiny bit sore but other than that I'm good...which just tells me that I should have increased my weight before now.
So once again here I go, back on track. For about the 100th time...but I guess it's better than never getting back on track at all. And really, that's kind of representative of my life - I stumble, fall, get a little banged up but just pick myself up and keep on trekking...I know I'll fall again but what else can I do?
Are You Ready For Some Football?
What a day! It has flown by - busy, busy, busy! But I love it - it's the kind of pace I enjoy! My desk is a wreck and I have notes everywhere but I'll take it!
Had a busy and good weekend. We celebrated M's birthday with a party at a gymnastics center and spent Sunday with my Mom. Benny was out of town so I was looking for something to do and we had a little shopping that needed to be done. My mom is having a picture done with all the grandkids and she wants them all to wear Thunder apparel...and we have none. Actually, we have one little night shirt that M2 wears but it's faded and not in good shape so off for new clothes we went....we had no luck. Not that we tried that hard - we hit three stores and then the kids were done.
The original suggestion was to do our football teams - OU and OSU but only two of the grandkids are OSU fans so that was vetoed pretty quickly. Although, I think we should have gone with it....what's wrong with drowning in crimson and cream?
Speaking of - I am SO ready for football! I cannot wait until the season starts! I am getting so excited! Let's go Sooners! I love everything about it - the weather, the smack talking, the intensity of the game....I. CANNOT. WAIT. I'm hoping we have a great season and really hoping we get to go to a few more games this year...maybe even Red River again? We shall see...
Had a busy and good weekend. We celebrated M's birthday with a party at a gymnastics center and spent Sunday with my Mom. Benny was out of town so I was looking for something to do and we had a little shopping that needed to be done. My mom is having a picture done with all the grandkids and she wants them all to wear Thunder apparel...and we have none. Actually, we have one little night shirt that M2 wears but it's faded and not in good shape so off for new clothes we went....we had no luck. Not that we tried that hard - we hit three stores and then the kids were done.
The original suggestion was to do our football teams - OU and OSU but only two of the grandkids are OSU fans so that was vetoed pretty quickly. Although, I think we should have gone with it....what's wrong with drowning in crimson and cream?
Speaking of - I am SO ready for football! I cannot wait until the season starts! I am getting so excited! Let's go Sooners! I love everything about it - the weather, the smack talking, the intensity of the game....I. CANNOT. WAIT. I'm hoping we have a great season and really hoping we get to go to a few more games this year...maybe even Red River again? We shall see...
Friday, July 22, 2011
Surprises
God is SO good! Thank you Lord for your grace and mercy!
Today was nothing like I expected. I had played out every possible scenario and was ready for everything. I just hate being unprepared for situations and I had no idea what today's encounter was going to be like so that was a bit of a struggle. But I woke up today and felt like whatever happened, happened. And life goes on. There really isn't anything outside of death that I can't recover from, right? And not that this situation was anything near that dramatic but I just needed to put it in perspective. So yeah, it might suck but then it's over and what? In a month I wouldn't even be thinking about it.
And that is the absolute beauty of life - each day we get to wake up and start new. Not that we can ever erase our history but it's just that - in the past and over. And we don't have to relive it or be tied to it if we don't want to be.
And then it turned out that it was just an easy encounter without confrontation, without drama. Which is SO good because I really didn't went to have to get ghetto....
Today was nothing like I expected. I had played out every possible scenario and was ready for everything. I just hate being unprepared for situations and I had no idea what today's encounter was going to be like so that was a bit of a struggle. But I woke up today and felt like whatever happened, happened. And life goes on. There really isn't anything outside of death that I can't recover from, right? And not that this situation was anything near that dramatic but I just needed to put it in perspective. So yeah, it might suck but then it's over and what? In a month I wouldn't even be thinking about it.
And that is the absolute beauty of life - each day we get to wake up and start new. Not that we can ever erase our history but it's just that - in the past and over. And we don't have to relive it or be tied to it if we don't want to be.
And then it turned out that it was just an easy encounter without confrontation, without drama. Which is SO good because I really didn't went to have to get ghetto....
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I Might Be Pregnant
Okay, actually there is no way in hell that I am pregnant but I have had some random, crazy cravings tonight. As I was cooking dinner (Chinese beef and broccoli) I opened the fridge and saw a jar of sweet midget pickles (insert short joke here) and they looked SO good and I wanted one SO bad. But since I was making dinner I resisted. But then about 10 minutes later I had an overwhelming desire for cereal. I mean really, I had to have it and I had to have it right then. That I could not resist. I got one of M2's baby bowls and had some and the milk was soooooo good. And I don't even like milk. But I could have drank half a gallon if I would have let myself. And then after dinner I had some pickles. See, doesn't that scream pregnant? But I'm not. And yes, I'm sure.
I have spent all night cleaning the house. I'm in super clean mode - scrubbing the oven with a toothbrush mode. I do that when I'm pissed or stressed or upset. And sometimes just for the heck of it. But usually when I am upset. And tonight I am upset. Well, not really upset...but my heart is heavy. It's not anything I can share - it involves a student and a disciplinary matter. It's big and will impact the student in a significant way. I've really struggled with it. I know what occurred was unacceptable and needed to be addressed - to me it's something that can't be tolerated. But there is also a tremendous amount of pressure from being responsible for impacting someone's life in such a way. I don't have a lot of tolerance for unethical behavior - if it's wrong, it's wrong and needs to be addressed and dealt with. And I realize I need to operate that way in order to effectively run this program. But it's never fun and it's never easy.
In addition to feeling bad about what will happen to this student I am also feeling a lot of anxiety because I'm expecting some confrontation tomorrow. I hate confrontation. I guess everyone does. Not too many people wake up thinking "Gonna have a great confrontation today!" I can do serious, I can do uncomfortable but trying to deal with someone who is irrational and hyped up on emotion is something else. And it may not even be an issue, I'm hoping it won't be but I feel like I have to get prepared just in case.
The positive is that my house is clean. So that's a plus. This is especially nice since Morgan's party is this weekend. We're not having it here, no one is going to see the house at all but since we'll be busy it's nice to have it done already. Especially since the week has been a little crazy and I've been slacking big time. We were gone all day yesterday on our birthday date. We took M to see Cars 2 in 3D. The movie was pretty cute. I've never seen Cars so I wasn't sure if I would like it or not. The 3D was eh. I don't think it was worth the extra money - there just didn't seem to be that many effects. The 3D previews were awesome. They are releasing Lion King in 3D and that looked amazing...I guess I was just expecting the same effects. And M didn't want to keep her glasses on. She said they made everything blurry. That probably would have concerned me except I took them and put them on and they were blurry. Blurry from popcorn butter fingerprints. She must have touched every inch of those glasses. We had a super good time. But she wanted to pick M2 up from school - she really, really missed her. She's such a great big sister. When we got in the car the other day M told her "I love you so much M2. I love you so much I can't stop thinking about you." She's not dramatic or anything... So we picked up sister and went swimming. We hadn't been swimming since July 4th. It's interesting - when you can swim any time you want, you don't swim as often as you would think. It was fun for the kids though. Not so much for me. Benny had to run an errand so I was solo. It's a lot to handle when you're in a pool and outnumbered.
Tonight M got in trouble and when we were discussing it I was outlining my expectations and I said "M, you are five years old blah,blah,blah..." and she got this look on her face, kinda smiled and said "I'm five years old? I'm five?" So after our conversation I said "M, your birthday was yesterday. Remember?" and she said "Yeah, I know it was my birthday but I didn't know I was five!" and she was so super excited. And then she looked at me kinda confused and said "Why was there not cake at my birthday yesterday?" Oh baby, if it was up to your Mommy there would be cake everyday!
I have spent all night cleaning the house. I'm in super clean mode - scrubbing the oven with a toothbrush mode. I do that when I'm pissed or stressed or upset. And sometimes just for the heck of it. But usually when I am upset. And tonight I am upset. Well, not really upset...but my heart is heavy. It's not anything I can share - it involves a student and a disciplinary matter. It's big and will impact the student in a significant way. I've really struggled with it. I know what occurred was unacceptable and needed to be addressed - to me it's something that can't be tolerated. But there is also a tremendous amount of pressure from being responsible for impacting someone's life in such a way. I don't have a lot of tolerance for unethical behavior - if it's wrong, it's wrong and needs to be addressed and dealt with. And I realize I need to operate that way in order to effectively run this program. But it's never fun and it's never easy.
In addition to feeling bad about what will happen to this student I am also feeling a lot of anxiety because I'm expecting some confrontation tomorrow. I hate confrontation. I guess everyone does. Not too many people wake up thinking "Gonna have a great confrontation today!" I can do serious, I can do uncomfortable but trying to deal with someone who is irrational and hyped up on emotion is something else. And it may not even be an issue, I'm hoping it won't be but I feel like I have to get prepared just in case.
The positive is that my house is clean. So that's a plus. This is especially nice since Morgan's party is this weekend. We're not having it here, no one is going to see the house at all but since we'll be busy it's nice to have it done already. Especially since the week has been a little crazy and I've been slacking big time. We were gone all day yesterday on our birthday date. We took M to see Cars 2 in 3D. The movie was pretty cute. I've never seen Cars so I wasn't sure if I would like it or not. The 3D was eh. I don't think it was worth the extra money - there just didn't seem to be that many effects. The 3D previews were awesome. They are releasing Lion King in 3D and that looked amazing...I guess I was just expecting the same effects. And M didn't want to keep her glasses on. She said they made everything blurry. That probably would have concerned me except I took them and put them on and they were blurry. Blurry from popcorn butter fingerprints. She must have touched every inch of those glasses. We had a super good time. But she wanted to pick M2 up from school - she really, really missed her. She's such a great big sister. When we got in the car the other day M told her "I love you so much M2. I love you so much I can't stop thinking about you." She's not dramatic or anything... So we picked up sister and went swimming. We hadn't been swimming since July 4th. It's interesting - when you can swim any time you want, you don't swim as often as you would think. It was fun for the kids though. Not so much for me. Benny had to run an errand so I was solo. It's a lot to handle when you're in a pool and outnumbered.
Tonight M got in trouble and when we were discussing it I was outlining my expectations and I said "M, you are five years old blah,blah,blah..." and she got this look on her face, kinda smiled and said "I'm five years old? I'm five?" So after our conversation I said "M, your birthday was yesterday. Remember?" and she said "Yeah, I know it was my birthday but I didn't know I was five!" and she was so super excited. And then she looked at me kinda confused and said "Why was there not cake at my birthday yesterday?" Oh baby, if it was up to your Mommy there would be cake everyday!
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| Favorite thing to do is play with my phone and take pictures. That gets interesting sometimes. |
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| Her favorite shoes. She wore them all day. |
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| Obsessed with shoes. Wonder where she gets that? |
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