I'm taking a break today. I need to for my mental health and the mental health of those around me. I've carved out time for lunch (and blogging) and I've even allowed myself to go to the bathroom. Yep, makin big steps towards progress today!
We watched Hall Pass the other night. Pretty funny. If you haven't seen it, the storyline is about a couple of married guys who get granted a hallpass by their wives. For one week they can live like they are single with no consequences. So the movie is about a series of misadventures during that week while they try unsuccessfully (for the most part) to hook up. Benny made a comment about how accurate the movie is - that it would be a challenge for a guy to hook up but women didn't even have to try...which made me really think about some common misperceptions that I refer to as Women Myths. Let's address those, shall we?
Women Myth 1: Women Lose Interest in Sex After Marriage
This is by far the biggest myth that exist. It's constantly perpetuated, even by men that are having sex on a regular basis. There are lots of wives who enjoy having sex, who want to have sex. It's part of a healthy relationship. So don't think a ring automatically shuts down a women's libido. It just isn't true. There are lots of us married women with our libido raging safely in tact.
I don't have an explanation for the ones that do lose their sex drive. I'm sure some used sex as a way to build the relationship and lost interest after it was secured, maybe some are harboring some pretty deep resentments, or maybe some just like to torture and deprive their spouses. Whatever the reason, these are the exceptions and not the rule.
I personally think that guys insinuate there's a lack of sex simply because they don't want their buddies eyeing their wives...and actually, that's pretty smart. Women should probably take note and start doing that too. Which brings me to number two.
Women Myth 2: Women Are Discreet
Technically this is a Man Myth - the idea that men brag about their sexual encounters while women practice discretion. Really, this should make sense. Women like to talk and share and since this is usually a pretty big part of our lives (see myth 1) then it's natural that we talk about it. It's not like we share with ALL of our friends but you can bet that our dearest friends know something about our sex lives. Usually the closer the relationship, the more details we share. So yes, your wives's friends probably know how often you have sex, how well you perform, and all about that embarrassing thing you shouted out the other day while in the throws of passion.
And then we wonder why a "friend" would make a move on our spouse...
Woman Myth 3: Women Never Get Turned Down For Sex
I am telling you 100 percent that this is not true. Personally, I've gotten turned down more than a time or two. It happens. And it happens to both genders.
I've thrown myself at guys within an inch of desperation...well, okay, if you want to get technical I was probably actually an inch past desperation...only to be ignored, turned down and one time even fallen asleep on. And I'm not the only one it's happened to (see myth 2). Except the falling asleep thing - I've never heard that from a girlfriend. Maybe that was just too embarrassing to share...it does kinda hurt your pride when you're trying to turn someone on and they get so excited by you that they FALL ASLEEP. Epic fail. An embarrassing epic fail. But one that I share in the hopes of demonstrating that it happens to women too.
Women Myth 4: Women Are Complicated
I'm sure some women are complicated but there's a whole bunch of us who will tell you exactly what we want and need. We understand the importance of articulating our needs, even if it makes us uncomfortable to be so vulnerable. We don't play games and we put ourselves out there. Your only job is to listen.
It's pretty simple: when a woman says you make her feel special when you do X - then do it more! When a women says you make her feel crummy when you do X - then do it less! Generally, I think we just want to feel loved and valued. We aren't looking for grand gestures and we're just happy to see that you try.
Women Myth 5: All Women Are The Same
No one person can speak on behalf of a whole gender or understand the intricacies of a unique individual. It's great to call your sister, your best friend's wife, or even your Mom as long as you understand that the advice they share may not apply to all women. What's romantic to some may some cheesy to others. What seems practical to some may seem insensitive to somebody else. One size fits all doesn't always fit.
So don't make assumptions, don't make generalizations, and most importantly don't listen to me!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Busy Hornet
I have been so super busy at work. Insanely busy. Like I've had to pee for about 3 hours but I can't get away to the bathroom busy. I grabbed some strawberries today and I came this close to not even washing them off before I ate them because it seriously seemed like it would take too long. I don't think I'm mismanaging my time...and I'm delegating things out...so I don't know what's happening. This is probably just justice for all the time I've ever wasted on instant messenger. Curse you instant messenger for fueling the compelling and overwhelming need I have to engage in lighthearted, witty banter! The voice in my head says "Ignore the IM! Ignore the IM!" and yet my fingers are curiously unable to avoid typing out a response...what kind of hold do you have over me? Evil, pure evil!
And I have got to get a handle on working out. I have lost all consistency. And some muscle too. I got a workout in on Monday and Tuesday but we had overnight company last night so no workout this morning. It's amazing but I can tell a difference since I've been slacking. It really sucks.
It's a little ironic that the purpose of this blog was primarily to keep me accountable on workouts and now it seems like I blog about everything except that. I'm going to try to get better about that too. Of course, I talk an awful lot about getting better about things but if I was actually making improvements in those areas I probably wouldn't need to keep promising to get better, would I?
And I have got to get a handle on working out. I have lost all consistency. And some muscle too. I got a workout in on Monday and Tuesday but we had overnight company last night so no workout this morning. It's amazing but I can tell a difference since I've been slacking. It really sucks.
It's a little ironic that the purpose of this blog was primarily to keep me accountable on workouts and now it seems like I blog about everything except that. I'm going to try to get better about that too. Of course, I talk an awful lot about getting better about things but if I was actually making improvements in those areas I probably wouldn't need to keep promising to get better, would I?
Monday, August 1, 2011
This, That, and All Others
Got a few, unimportant things running through my head. None of them are related or even very interesting...so this is even more random and mundane than usual.
I was listening to NPR this morning. I love NPR. When I was young I tried to listen to it because I knew it was important to be connected, to know what was happening in the world but I just couldn't do it. I just didn't have a genuine enough interest to stay focused and really absorb the news. I think I was too immature to see how those things impacted me - it felt like a world completely removed from mine. I was busy working my jobs and going to school and counting down to penny beer night. It's different now and I really enjoy it. So anyway, this morning on the radio they had Senator Claire McCaskill on to talk about the budget situation and she said something that struck me. When asked during the interview why it was so difficult to reach nonpartisan agreements she said (and I didn't commit the exact phrase to memory so I'm slightly paraphrasing) that most people come to Washington to be loved and that essentially that makes it difficult to say no. And I don't know, that seems to me to be the major problem - no one should go to Washington to be loved. They should go to Washington because they want to make the world a better place, to make a difference - it's public service! S-E-R-V-I-C-E. From my experience, there is very little recognition or glory in true service. People that serve do so because they care about the greater cause, not the recognition. The ones that care about the recognition actually seem to do very little. I think that's why I get so irritated with inept leadership - most the times it's really just a case of someone looking for the prestige but not willing to do the work. I hate that attitude.
I've had a series of blonde moments lately. I may not be blonde but my inner self is - she's blonde, leggy, and has a rack that would make Dolly Parton jealous. I'm very, very fond of her. Normally, it's something here and there but for some reason I've had moment after moment - it's beginning to get ridiculous. I was cleaning the house the other day and the girls were playing. They got a little too loud so I went in and absently said "Guys, you're being too loud. Come on, let's go. Don't play in here." and M looked at me kinda strange and said "But this is the playroom..." I mean, really, how do you recover from that? And today I was coming down the stairs when I ran into a colleague. She looked at me, did a double take and then said "Oh hey! I'm not used to you coming down the stairs." To which I replied "I always take the stairs." She looked a little confused and then said "Ooooh, no. I meant since you've moved upstairs. I'm used to seeing you walking down the hall, not walking from the stairs." Yeah, that makes more sense since she probably doesn't have time to monitor whether I use the stairs or the elevator...Yikes. I am making the conscience decision to screw my head on just a tiny bit tighter tomorrow...
I had to let someone go today. It's the first time I've ever terminated anybody. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Not that I'm cold hearted or anything. But really, I provided chance after chance...I bent over backwards to avoid it but there just comes a point when you have to realize that behaviours aren't going to change. And that's an issue. And really, if you can't respect me as your supervisor then it's never going to work. I think part of that is because I try so hard to be flexible and understanding. Unfortunately, some people perceive that as weak. And I don't want to play the gender card but I think it is difficult sometimes for some men to accept a woman in charge. And I can understand that. And I personally don't think it helps that I'm short and look young - I don't think I exactly scream authority. Especially when I have one student who every time, every single time, she sees me she says "Ooooh you look so preciouuuuus. Just so so so precious." Like I'm a freakin cupie doll. I mean, not to sound ungrateful or anything but really? Really? Precious is the only adjective you have to describe me? It doesn't matter if I'm dressed in my nerdy/librarian or wild zebra - precious it is. I don't ever get a hot, or sassy, or even cute. Nope, just tie a cute little pink bow on me because precious it is...
The newest addition to our family arrived this weekend. She was delivered mid-afternoon on Sunday. She weighs quite a bit and looks pretty tall to me. We've decided to affectionately call her "fridge".
And in closing I will share with you my beloved shoe pile. One of the first things I do when I get home is kick off my shoes...unfortunately, they don't always make it upstairs and back into my closet.
According to Benny this is one of the most annoying things I do. I strongly disagree! I do many, many things that are way more annoying than that...
I was listening to NPR this morning. I love NPR. When I was young I tried to listen to it because I knew it was important to be connected, to know what was happening in the world but I just couldn't do it. I just didn't have a genuine enough interest to stay focused and really absorb the news. I think I was too immature to see how those things impacted me - it felt like a world completely removed from mine. I was busy working my jobs and going to school and counting down to penny beer night. It's different now and I really enjoy it. So anyway, this morning on the radio they had Senator Claire McCaskill on to talk about the budget situation and she said something that struck me. When asked during the interview why it was so difficult to reach nonpartisan agreements she said (and I didn't commit the exact phrase to memory so I'm slightly paraphrasing) that most people come to Washington to be loved and that essentially that makes it difficult to say no. And I don't know, that seems to me to be the major problem - no one should go to Washington to be loved. They should go to Washington because they want to make the world a better place, to make a difference - it's public service! S-E-R-V-I-C-E. From my experience, there is very little recognition or glory in true service. People that serve do so because they care about the greater cause, not the recognition. The ones that care about the recognition actually seem to do very little. I think that's why I get so irritated with inept leadership - most the times it's really just a case of someone looking for the prestige but not willing to do the work. I hate that attitude.
I've had a series of blonde moments lately. I may not be blonde but my inner self is - she's blonde, leggy, and has a rack that would make Dolly Parton jealous. I'm very, very fond of her. Normally, it's something here and there but for some reason I've had moment after moment - it's beginning to get ridiculous. I was cleaning the house the other day and the girls were playing. They got a little too loud so I went in and absently said "Guys, you're being too loud. Come on, let's go. Don't play in here." and M looked at me kinda strange and said "But this is the playroom..." I mean, really, how do you recover from that? And today I was coming down the stairs when I ran into a colleague. She looked at me, did a double take and then said "Oh hey! I'm not used to you coming down the stairs." To which I replied "I always take the stairs." She looked a little confused and then said "Ooooh, no. I meant since you've moved upstairs. I'm used to seeing you walking down the hall, not walking from the stairs." Yeah, that makes more sense since she probably doesn't have time to monitor whether I use the stairs or the elevator...Yikes. I am making the conscience decision to screw my head on just a tiny bit tighter tomorrow...
I had to let someone go today. It's the first time I've ever terminated anybody. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Not that I'm cold hearted or anything. But really, I provided chance after chance...I bent over backwards to avoid it but there just comes a point when you have to realize that behaviours aren't going to change. And that's an issue. And really, if you can't respect me as your supervisor then it's never going to work. I think part of that is because I try so hard to be flexible and understanding. Unfortunately, some people perceive that as weak. And I don't want to play the gender card but I think it is difficult sometimes for some men to accept a woman in charge. And I can understand that. And I personally don't think it helps that I'm short and look young - I don't think I exactly scream authority. Especially when I have one student who every time, every single time, she sees me she says "Ooooh you look so preciouuuuus. Just so so so precious." Like I'm a freakin cupie doll. I mean, not to sound ungrateful or anything but really? Really? Precious is the only adjective you have to describe me? It doesn't matter if I'm dressed in my nerdy/librarian or wild zebra - precious it is. I don't ever get a hot, or sassy, or even cute. Nope, just tie a cute little pink bow on me because precious it is...
The newest addition to our family arrived this weekend. She was delivered mid-afternoon on Sunday. She weighs quite a bit and looks pretty tall to me. We've decided to affectionately call her "fridge".
 |
| Only a day old and already dressed up |
And in closing I will share with you my beloved shoe pile. One of the first things I do when I get home is kick off my shoes...unfortunately, they don't always make it upstairs and back into my closet.
According to Benny this is one of the most annoying things I do. I strongly disagree! I do many, many things that are way more annoying than that...
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Freezer Burn
I had an event for work and ended up with some left-over popsicles, which made their way back to my house. Not to worry, they were purchased with my own money - it was just a return on the investment.
This was kinda a big deal in the Mitchell house because I don't buy popsicles. At least it was a big deal for M. So she's been asking for one after dinner. She's smart too because she always waits until after M2 goes to bed. The girl understands supply and demand.
So Sunday I go to get her one and...what? Why aren't they frozen? Hummm, that's interesting. So I was hoping that maybe the freezer had been left open accidentally - not enough for me to notice but enough for the popsicles to melt.
Yeah, it was a stretch.
The next morning I check and nope, still not frozen. This is not good. Since the sole purpose of a freezer is to freeze this could only mean one thing - the fridge has officially died.
We are fortunate - we have an extra fridge outside on our back porch. It isn't as redneck as it sounds. We have it because we're too lazy to go inside to get something to drink when we're outside. Technically, anytime you have an appliance on a porch that qualifies as redneck, but I'm justifying this based on sheer convenience.
And thank goodness for our trailer park ways, we were able to save a lot. It's just crazy to me that it went out so quickly - it was fine one day and completely out the next. And it was only 8 years old. Which I know is old, but shouldn't they last longer than that? The one outside (OUTSIDE!) still works. And it's really old.
And I must be the most unwife wife in the world because I have absolutely no preferences on appliances. My only requirement is that everything has to be the same color. Benny picked the first fridge and picked our replacement too. Not that he didn't ask and keep asking me what I thought ...but seriously, I don't care how many shelves it has or how the drawers work. If it keeps the food cold then I'm good.
So we'll have the memorial services on Sunday - pallbearers courtesy of Lowes. Or Home Depot. I can't remember. We'll say goodbye and send her off and get another 8 years before we have to do it all over again...
This was kinda a big deal in the Mitchell house because I don't buy popsicles. At least it was a big deal for M. So she's been asking for one after dinner. She's smart too because she always waits until after M2 goes to bed. The girl understands supply and demand.
So Sunday I go to get her one and...what? Why aren't they frozen? Hummm, that's interesting. So I was hoping that maybe the freezer had been left open accidentally - not enough for me to notice but enough for the popsicles to melt.
Yeah, it was a stretch.
The next morning I check and nope, still not frozen. This is not good. Since the sole purpose of a freezer is to freeze this could only mean one thing - the fridge has officially died.
We are fortunate - we have an extra fridge outside on our back porch. It isn't as redneck as it sounds. We have it because we're too lazy to go inside to get something to drink when we're outside. Technically, anytime you have an appliance on a porch that qualifies as redneck, but I'm justifying this based on sheer convenience.
And thank goodness for our trailer park ways, we were able to save a lot. It's just crazy to me that it went out so quickly - it was fine one day and completely out the next. And it was only 8 years old. Which I know is old, but shouldn't they last longer than that? The one outside (OUTSIDE!) still works. And it's really old.
And I must be the most unwife wife in the world because I have absolutely no preferences on appliances. My only requirement is that everything has to be the same color. Benny picked the first fridge and picked our replacement too. Not that he didn't ask and keep asking me what I thought ...but seriously, I don't care how many shelves it has or how the drawers work. If it keeps the food cold then I'm good.
So we'll have the memorial services on Sunday - pallbearers courtesy of Lowes. Or Home Depot. I can't remember. We'll say goodbye and send her off and get another 8 years before we have to do it all over again...
Monday, July 25, 2011
Lazy
So I've been bad about working out. Two weeks ago I was kinda spotty and then last week I didn't work out at all. Not once. I don't know what was wrong with me...it seems like I cylce in and out with my motivation...some days I'm hardcore committed and then bam - I can't force myself to get up and do it.
I did work out this morning. I got my lazy behind up and dressed and had the dvd started at 5:08. And I increased my weights just because I felt like I had been a sloth and I wanted to get back into and not mess around. My triceps are a teeny tiny bit sore but other than that I'm good...which just tells me that I should have increased my weight before now.
So once again here I go, back on track. For about the 100th time...but I guess it's better than never getting back on track at all. And really, that's kind of representative of my life - I stumble, fall, get a little banged up but just pick myself up and keep on trekking...I know I'll fall again but what else can I do?
I did work out this morning. I got my lazy behind up and dressed and had the dvd started at 5:08. And I increased my weights just because I felt like I had been a sloth and I wanted to get back into and not mess around. My triceps are a teeny tiny bit sore but other than that I'm good...which just tells me that I should have increased my weight before now.
So once again here I go, back on track. For about the 100th time...but I guess it's better than never getting back on track at all. And really, that's kind of representative of my life - I stumble, fall, get a little banged up but just pick myself up and keep on trekking...I know I'll fall again but what else can I do?
Are You Ready For Some Football?
What a day! It has flown by - busy, busy, busy! But I love it - it's the kind of pace I enjoy! My desk is a wreck and I have notes everywhere but I'll take it!
Had a busy and good weekend. We celebrated M's birthday with a party at a gymnastics center and spent Sunday with my Mom. Benny was out of town so I was looking for something to do and we had a little shopping that needed to be done. My mom is having a picture done with all the grandkids and she wants them all to wear Thunder apparel...and we have none. Actually, we have one little night shirt that M2 wears but it's faded and not in good shape so off for new clothes we went....we had no luck. Not that we tried that hard - we hit three stores and then the kids were done.
The original suggestion was to do our football teams - OU and OSU but only two of the grandkids are OSU fans so that was vetoed pretty quickly. Although, I think we should have gone with it....what's wrong with drowning in crimson and cream?
Speaking of - I am SO ready for football! I cannot wait until the season starts! I am getting so excited! Let's go Sooners! I love everything about it - the weather, the smack talking, the intensity of the game....I. CANNOT. WAIT. I'm hoping we have a great season and really hoping we get to go to a few more games this year...maybe even Red River again? We shall see...
Had a busy and good weekend. We celebrated M's birthday with a party at a gymnastics center and spent Sunday with my Mom. Benny was out of town so I was looking for something to do and we had a little shopping that needed to be done. My mom is having a picture done with all the grandkids and she wants them all to wear Thunder apparel...and we have none. Actually, we have one little night shirt that M2 wears but it's faded and not in good shape so off for new clothes we went....we had no luck. Not that we tried that hard - we hit three stores and then the kids were done.
The original suggestion was to do our football teams - OU and OSU but only two of the grandkids are OSU fans so that was vetoed pretty quickly. Although, I think we should have gone with it....what's wrong with drowning in crimson and cream?
Speaking of - I am SO ready for football! I cannot wait until the season starts! I am getting so excited! Let's go Sooners! I love everything about it - the weather, the smack talking, the intensity of the game....I. CANNOT. WAIT. I'm hoping we have a great season and really hoping we get to go to a few more games this year...maybe even Red River again? We shall see...
Friday, July 22, 2011
Surprises
God is SO good! Thank you Lord for your grace and mercy!
Today was nothing like I expected. I had played out every possible scenario and was ready for everything. I just hate being unprepared for situations and I had no idea what today's encounter was going to be like so that was a bit of a struggle. But I woke up today and felt like whatever happened, happened. And life goes on. There really isn't anything outside of death that I can't recover from, right? And not that this situation was anything near that dramatic but I just needed to put it in perspective. So yeah, it might suck but then it's over and what? In a month I wouldn't even be thinking about it.
And that is the absolute beauty of life - each day we get to wake up and start new. Not that we can ever erase our history but it's just that - in the past and over. And we don't have to relive it or be tied to it if we don't want to be.
And then it turned out that it was just an easy encounter without confrontation, without drama. Which is SO good because I really didn't went to have to get ghetto....
Today was nothing like I expected. I had played out every possible scenario and was ready for everything. I just hate being unprepared for situations and I had no idea what today's encounter was going to be like so that was a bit of a struggle. But I woke up today and felt like whatever happened, happened. And life goes on. There really isn't anything outside of death that I can't recover from, right? And not that this situation was anything near that dramatic but I just needed to put it in perspective. So yeah, it might suck but then it's over and what? In a month I wouldn't even be thinking about it.
And that is the absolute beauty of life - each day we get to wake up and start new. Not that we can ever erase our history but it's just that - in the past and over. And we don't have to relive it or be tied to it if we don't want to be.
And then it turned out that it was just an easy encounter without confrontation, without drama. Which is SO good because I really didn't went to have to get ghetto....
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